was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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