he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
