I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
