My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
