I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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