Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
