Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
