yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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