i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
