Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
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