By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
