Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I think people are normalizing furries
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
