somebody snuck up and got me drunk
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
