She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
