An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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