She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
