She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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