why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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