i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
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