Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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