there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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