Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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