i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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