worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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