ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
