Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
