I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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