She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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