Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize