He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
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Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
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The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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