i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
