If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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