This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
