he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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