Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
The struggles of a small town man whore
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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