Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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