He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
can u get pink eye on your cock?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize