I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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