YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
