he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
