Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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