I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
