the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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