If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
