Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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