My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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