I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
