What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
