I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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