i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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