Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
