a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
