Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
