Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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