he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
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She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
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So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize